13 April 2015

Five aside ndoyangu, inondinakira ; Masvingo man with the longest P3NIS arrested for masturbating

A man in Masvingo who wanted to impress a love interest with his very long anaconda, probably the longest penis in Masvingo, stood in front of her, pulled out his erect manhood and started to masturbate, a "self service" My Zimbabwe News team usually refers to as "Ndega Ndonaka".

So huge and scary was the bedroom sausage that a 37-year-old woman, Esther Muteyiwa, was left shell shocked by what she saw and fled. Rodgers Munemo (41) who resides at Plot 2 in Summerton under Chief Zimuto in Masvingo was later arrested and hauled before Magistrate Siboninkosi Mkandla last week on Thursday.

It is the State case that on March 24, 2015 at around 10pm, Munemo approached Muteyiwa at her homestead when she was alone. Munemo then unzipped his trousers exposing his penis at a 10metres distance from Muteyiwa and while looking into her face, he started masturbating.

Muteyiwa reported the case to Farai Matarutse her workmate and the remorseful Munemo apologised and pleaded with Muteyiwa not to spread the story to other people.   Magistrate Siboninkosi fined him $80 fine or 60 days imprisonment.

During cross-examinations, Munemo told the court that he acted in that manner because he wanted to attract the complainant with his privates.

Tsvangirai reveals he is ready to work with Mujuru

Opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai yesterday hinted that he was ready to work with former Vice President Joice Mujuru, as long as she harboured the same "change" agenda — and also reaffirmed that the MDC would not participate in the forthcoming by-elections until comprehensive electoral reforms had been put in place.

Speaking in Harare after his party's National Council had met, Tsvangirai emphasised, however, that he had not yet been approached by either Mujuru or former Presidential Affairs minister Didymus Mutasa to flesh out the much-talked-about proposal for them to join forces.

He said Zimbabwe's seemingly intractable problems needed a united approach by all relevant players, adding that his party was mulling participating in "a national convergence conference" that is set to bring together all political parties, civic society organisations and other stakeholders to try and find solutions to Zimbabwe's deepening political and economic crises.

"There is a proposal to have a national convergence conference and we endorse that. We believe Zimbabweans across the political divide should be able to come together to talk about our crisis and talk about a solution.

"In light of that, there was a development in the party with those who had left the party coming back and we will welcome everyone in the big tent.

"This country needs a solution and the more we are together, the more we are united and the better for us. We will continue to encourage everyone to join the agenda for change and democracy that we started and hopefully we will have it in our lifetime," Tsvangirai said.

Expounding on the possibility of him working with disaffected Zanu PF stalwarts, he said he had not had a personal discussion with Mutasa.

"We formed MDC because we didn't believe in Zanu PF policies. What has changed? After all kana uchinyenga munhu, unonyenga nemumaradio nemumapaper here? (we can't reach out to each other through the media); or you go and talk to the person?

"He hasn't talked to me. He hasn't approached me. If he wanted to engage on that particular proposal, why doesn't he approach me? I am hearing it for the first time," the opposition leader said.

Tsvangirai also insisted that the party would not be participating in the forthcoming by-elections until comprehensive electoral reforms had been put in place.

"The council was very emphatic that the position taken by our national congress in October that reforms must precede any election in Zimbabwe has been vindicated by the recent by-elections which we condemn very strongly," he said.

He said his party was not going to "legitimise a flawed electoral process as there was still manipulation of the voters' roll and other electoral chicanery".

"MDC will uphold resolutions of the congress that unless there are reforms, participation in those by-elections will be futile, or any election for that matter, until those reforms are achieved. We believe that position is in line with our constitutional provisions," Tsvangirai said.

The former premier said President Robert Mugabe had failed to act in accordance with the guidelines on elections spelled out by the Southern Africa Development Community (Sadc) and the African Union (AU).

Mugabe chairs both bodies.

"We have noted the inability by Mugabe's government to solve the country's problems …deepening poverty. We also noted government's failure to implement provisions of the constitution.

"(Journalist-cum-pro-democracy activict Itai) Dzamara's disappearance still remains an important issue and cannot be allowed to disappear on the radar of Zimbabweans and of the international community.

"We also noted that what is happening in this country will not end until the people are able to be mobilised to take action to pressurise government not only to release Dzamara but to stop all abuses.

"Mugabe should behave in a manner that upholds the principles of Sadc and AU," Tsvangirai said.
Source: MZ

12 April 2015

Malema on the fix

The taxman has accused Julius Malema of lying
about the source of his income and has slapped
him with an additional R14-million tax bill.
In court papers explaining why it dumped its
deal with the Economic Freedom Fighters' leader,
the South African Revenue Service says Malema
lied about the source of the funds used to settle
part of his tax bill.
SARS also says Malema tried to dodge paying
donation tax and had received money from
questionable sources to settle an R18-million tax
bill - reduced to R7.2-million in a deal in May
last year.
These, SARS says, are some of the reasons for
the collapse of the compromise deal. The
revenue service has now launched an application
for Malema's final sequestration.
If the court grants the final order when the case
returns to court in June, Malema will be kicked
out of parliament, where his party has dominated
the debate since last year's general election.
Before last year's deal, Malema had paid R3.2-
million after auctioning off his homes and other
assets in 2013. The final bill was then reduced
to R4-million as part of that deal.
But, once the deal was nullified, SARS re-
examined Malema's tax affairs for 2011 and
It then slapped him with a further R14-million
bill and revised the final figure owing to R32-
million. The overall figure includes interest and
In papers, SARS says Malema was not
completely honest about his source of funds and
had not kept his taxes up to date as promised
when he signed the deal.
Malema's lawyer, Tumi Mokwena, said the
source of the funds was irrelevant because the
agreement did not state who had to pay.
According to papers obtained from the High
Court in Pretoria this week, SARS says Malema's
dishonesty emerged soon after they reached a
compromise agreement last year.
Malema had claimed that R1-million of the R4-
million he had agreed to pay SARS was a
donation from a "Mr Renier Martin" and the rest
would be paid by the Julius Sello Malema Trust,
an entity of which he claimed he was a
beneficiary and which was established to help
him settle his tax bill. But a SARS investigation
revealed that Martin was not the actual donor.
Yesterday, Martin said he had never offered to
donate R1-million to Malema and had discussed
only the possibility of offering his services as tax
But, said Mokwena, "you'll have to explain where
Malema got [Martin's] ID number from. In fact
he is outright lying."
Court papers show that Malema admitted to
SARS that Martin had not paid the R1-million,
saying it was a loan from Kyle Phillips, a director
of Carnilinx, a tobacco company run by Malema
benefactor Adriano Mazzotti.
Mokwena said Malema had taken out the loan
after Martin failed to pay.
Mazzotti previously confirmed that he had
donated money towards the R600,000 the EFF
required to register as a party contesting last
year's elections.
The revenue collector also found that Malema
was not a beneficiary of the Julius Sello Malema
In court papers, SARS lawyer Pieter Engelbrecht
says they investigated the tax status of the trust
and discovered that it had not been registered as
a taxpayer and had not declared any donation
"[Malema] stated that he is a beneficiary of the
aforesaid trust, however that trust had a bank
balance of only R4000 at the time.
"It is not clear to me how the trust could
accumulate the R3-million within this short
period of time to make the donations to the
respondent. sunday times

9 April 2015

Harare nurse gots dragged to court for beating PREGNANT Woman

A Harare nurse was yesterday arraigned before the courts for allegedly assaulting a seven-month
pregnant woman following a misunderstanding over rent.
Maria Rujuwa (36) pleaded not guilty to assault and malicious damage to property charges when she appeared before Mbare magistrate Ms Shelly Zvenyika.
The matter was rolled over to today for continuation of trial. Rujuwa told the court that she did not assault Tendai Sango but had only asked her and her brother to leave her house as her brother had not paid rent.

“I did not assault anyone. I only told them to leave the house or pay the rent,” she said. However, Sango, who was in tears said she
sustained injuries due to the beating she got from Rujuwa.

“It is painful for someone to say that they did not assault you when they did. It is even more painful that she is not even remorseful for her actions. After she assaulted me I was in a lot of pain and I even bled which is something scary considering that I am pregnant,” she told the court.

The prosecutor Mr Stanley Musekiwa alleged that on March 26 this year, Sango was in her brother’s room when Rujuwa who is the landlady at that house came into the room.
The court heard that Rujuwa then asked Sango and her brothers to go outside as her brother had not paid his monthly rentals for March.
Sango and her brother did not comply with Rujuwa’s instruction which angered her resulting in her bringing a stick which she used to assault Sango and in the process damaged Sango’s mobile phone worth $450.
Source: herald

Prophet T.B Joshua is mad as hell at Zimbabweans

Synagogue Church of All Nations GO Prophet T.B Joshua is mad as hell at Zimbabweans he claims are spreading false news about him. He took to Facebook this morning to place a curse on them.

Zimbawean media has been awash this week with reports that Prophet Joshua had predicted the fall of 3 of their prominent prophets. This caused serious backlash from Zimbabweans on T.B Joshua. He denied making these predictions and so took to his FB page to curse those claiming he did. See what he posted on his Facebook wall this morning .

"Good morning, people of Zimbabwe. Our
attention has been drawn to false rumours
spread by the father of lies which are currently
being circulated around Zimbabwe. The reward
of liars is destruction. We hereby curse, in the
name of Jesus, whoever is spreading these
Prophet T.B. Joshua can NEVER and he will
NEVER give such a message because our God is
not the God of confusion. We should be very
careful not to touch an anointed man of God and
lie against him
The Bible says in John 8:44 that satan is ‘the
father of lies’. Don’t listen to the father of lies,
the sons of lies and the daughters of lies. Do not
sit somewhere, hear this or that and come to a
hasty conclusion. God requires that we find out
the truth from Him first and hold fast to that
which is true, as the Bible says in 1
Thessalonians 5:21. God bless Zimbabwe.

Photos: Pastor Chris Oyakhilome exercises with his top pastors in SA

Christ Embassy Head Pastor Chris Oyakhilome is currently in South Africa. Here are some photos of him exercising with his top pastors and youths this past Monday. He also preached at his SA church in cool rare attire.

7 April 2015

Man and his seven children died of carbon monoxide poisoning, say family

A man and his seven children found dead in their Maryland home on Monday were poisoned by carbon monoxide from a generator they were using after the power company cut off their electricity, a couple who identified themselves as the man’s mother and stepfather said.
Police found the bodies at the home in Princess Anne after being contacted by a concerned co-worker of the father, who had not been seen for days, Princess Anne police said in a news release.
They identified the deceased only as an adult and seven young people of ages from six to the teens. They said the cause of the deaths was still under investigation.
Bonnie and Lloyd Edwards, encountered outside the home by a reporter from Associated Press, identified themselves as the mother and stepfather of Rodney Todd, 36, whom they identified as the adult who died. They said Todd had seven children, including five girls and two boys.
Bonnie Edwards identified the children as boys Cameron Todd, 13, and Zycheim Todd, seven; and girls Tynijuiza Todd, 15; Tykira Todd, 12; Tybree Todd, 10; Tyania Todd, nine; and Tybria Todd, six.
Lloyd Edwards said police told them Rodney Todd had died. “It was disbelief,” he said. “It’s so hard. How can you understand something like that?”
Lloyd Edwards said Delmarva Power had cut off the electricity to the house because of an outstanding bill. Princess Anne police chief Scott Keller said there was a generator in the kitchen that was out of gasoline.
Matt Likovich, a spokesman for Delmarva Power, would not say on Monday night whether the power had been cut off. He said the matter was being investigated.
Lloyd Edwards said: “To keep his seven children warm, [Todd] bought a generator. It went out and the carbon monoxide consumed them.”
Bonnie Edwards described her son as a loving, caring young man who set an example for his children. “I don’t know anyone his age who would have done what he did” for his children, she said. “I was so proud to say he took care of seven kids.”
Todd was a utility worker at the nearby University of Maryland Eastern Shore, said his supervisor, Stephanie Wells. Wells, who had not seen Todd since 28 March, said she went to the house Monday morning and knocked on the door, but no one answered. She then filed a missing person report with police.
Princess Anne is located on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.

Source: Guardian

Oliver Mtukudzi bitter over book which reveals his secrets and how he cheated on Daisy

The recently launched controversial book on Oliver Mtukudzi written by his former publicist has caused much uproar that left the legendary Zimbabwean musician up in arms against its publication. (PIC: Here is the cover of the book in question)
Mtukudzi claims the book, Tuku Backstage, is filled with sensational lies that are focused on ruining his reputation.
The reportedly explosive book is punted as "the first tell-all biography of the music, life and secrets of Oliver Mtukudzi".
It includes revelations by Daisy, Mtukudzi's wife, about her fights with the superstar which almost led her to shooting him after Mtukudzi denied paternity of a child he allegedly fathered with another woman.
Daisy spoke about women throwing themselves at her man and harassing her, and blamed her hypertension on the worries she experienced.
The author, Shepherd Mutamba, worked with Mtukudzi's company, Tuku Music, and has chronicled his version of events of the musician's life after touring with him and collecting information about how he runs his life and business.
The book was launched on Saturday in Harare, Zimbabwe.
"About two years ago, Mutamba came to me and told me that while he was working for us he had been simultaneously writing a 'biography' about me and wanted to publish it," Mtukudzi said in a statement.
After Mutamba collected information, he disappeared saying he needed a sabbatical to study and write his exams, which the people at Tuku Music were not against, he said. But that was the last they saw of Mutamba.
Zimbabwean publication Daily News last year began publishing extracts from the book that Mutamba wrote. "I felt betrayed by a man I had trusted so much and brought into my inner circle," Mtukudzi said.
But at the book launch, Mutamba was reported as saying: "Why would his [Mtukudzi's] own wife lie about him? Why would his own children lie about their father? Why would his local workers lie about him? Why would I lie about him? I think as a journalist of 30 years' experience I have done my job and done it well, credibly, objectively, accurately and ethically without malice," he maintained.

See what CNN is calling 'BREAKING NEWS ' Vs Zim Power Outage , Hilarious

Widespread power outage in Washington DC is breaking news in the US...what would you call 3 days or more of no Zesa

3 April 2015

When CNN shows its IGNORANCE by not knowing that Nairobi is not in Nigeria

 Check out CNN's mistake while reporting the Kenyan College massacre

2 April 2015

Man Impregnates mother and daughter

A man has impregnated a mother and her daughter.
“There is no need to hate my daughter for something that happened more than two years ago,” said Mildred Mashego (38), from Casteel, near Bushbuckridge, Mpumalanga.

Instead she is angry with Vincent Malumane (43), the man who made both women pregnant.
“What kind of man is this? He knew he was sleeping with me and my daughter at the same
time but he never used protection,” she said. Malumane claims he didn’t know they were mum and daughter. “Yes, I secretly had sex with the mother and daughter, but I didn’t know they were related,” he told Daily Sun. “But I can’t go back now and explain what happened. All we have to do is focus on making sure that the kids are raised properly. I’m currently supporting both the boys.”

The babies were born days apart, on 17 and 22 August 2012. At first the mother and daughter hated the idea that the same man fathered their children, but now they are raising their kids together for the sake of the children. “We have accepted the situation and are raising our kids together. It doesn’t bother us anymore that they share the same father,” said Mildred. Mildred admits that during their pregnancies she was bitter that her daughter had slept with her boyfriend.

“At first I was very angry with her because that man was too old for her. The fact that my daughter and I were carrying children from the same man killed me. I even thought of abortion but my religion and my culture forbids that.”

Mildred said at the time she had no choice but to throw her daughter, Patricia, out of the house
to live with her gogo.

“Seeing her every day as she got bigger and bigger reminded me that I was sharing a man with my daughter and that disgusted me,” said Mildred.
But she forgave her daughter after their babies were born. “And I was longing to be a mother again so I focused on the children,” she said. Patricia Mashego (19) said she has learnt from her mistake. “I will stay away from older men. I am focusing on my studies now so that I can finish my matric,” she said. The two mothers are worried about what to tell their sons when they grow up.

“They are brothers and a nephew and an uncle at the same time,” Mildred said.
Both women said they are no longer seeing Vincent but he insists that he is still dating
Mildred. – AENS

Mphoko secure house, neighbors to be evicted

VICE PRESIDENT Phelekezela Mphoko has finally secured a government house in Gunhill suburb in Harare but at a great cost to his three would be neighbors.
Government plans to evict the families to enhance Mphoko's security, Zimbabwe Independent reported on Thursday.
Mphoko is currently staying at Rainbow Towers Hotel were their room is said to cost $400 a

"The vice president has finally settled for a house in Gunhill whose address we cannot divulge for
security reasons.
"Three families whose house is in close proximity to Mphoko's house will have to more as a way of
enhancing security.
"They will receive a yet to be determined flat amount of money as compensation and this is an
issue which is not negotiable," Zimbabwe Independent said. .


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